Fruitful Spirit

Random News

2012-01-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Belated (much) New Year from all of us.

Little Man doesn't like to show his face much in group shots, but he sends smiles.

I just couldn't leave the blog world like that! Never updating....So here goes...Ms. Sweet thing was born early November, a few weeks early. She had some distress during labor and had to be delivered by c-section. She is perfectly healthy and perfectly beautiful...

Meeting little sis for the first time....so sweet

Everyone in the hospital, glad the room was big!

Another attempt at a Christmas photo! (Funny thing is, none of these made their way out in the mail. Little Man was not cooperating AT ALL, and when he did decide to grace us with a face shot, someone else invariably decided to be doing something else in the photo. Fun times. I'm going to start taking pictures of feet like everyone else. ;) Could you imagine, sending out Christmas cards with a picture everyone's feet? Oh my goodness, that is too funny. I might have to do it!

Or, I could just send this one....

Behind the scenes...

We were able to spend a few weekends with my brother and his family as they came home for a few months last year. They were special, wonderful times. We were so happy to see them again! They were able to see their new niece before heading home overseas.

We are just trying to soak it all in, and enjoy each day. We are beyond blessed to have our sweet girl and so thankful that God has put her and all of our children in our lives. Each and every day is such a blessing. (And so much FUN)!! I'm not sure I will be blogging much, but I couldn't leave the blog like that. Like a book with a bad ending...

Have fun, and don't take yourselves too seriously!

Much Love,

Exciting News!

2011-04-27T15:58:00.000-07:00

We have had a lot going on lately....PSAT's, SAT's, ACT's, learner's permits, you name it. Life is so full and fun! Now we have sickness circulating that has the babe down with slight pnuemonia and Little Man with double ear infections.... Whew...I'm tired just writing that...;0)
Anyhow, the exciting news is not that, it is that God has blessed us once more and come November we will be welcoming a brand new little babe to the bunch!
BEYOND EXCITED!!!!!
Just can't wait to hold this little one in my arms and so blessed that God has decided to entrust us with another life to raise for Him.

God is so good!

Two songs that have touched my heart

2011-01-18T13:22:00.000-08:00

Not exactly a new song, but my prayer for the last few months has been this song. Every moment counts. Every word counts, every second of our lives count. Whether it is changing a diaper for the 9000th time, trying to urge my 5 year old to speak or sign, or listening to one of the older children tell me about the things that matter in their hearts. It is all so worth it. I don't want to miss a second of any of it!

This song is more of a calling to me. The first stanza of this song brings tears to my eyes. The picture of millions of beautiful children left alone today goes through my mind....but especially those here. God, please be Father to them all.

Hello!

2011-01-12T13:19:00.001-08:00

Yes we are still around! Life has been busy, good busy, and 5 months have passed just like THAT! We had a glorious, blessed Christmas and a wonderful start to the New Year. Now we are just getting back into the swing of things. Reworking schedules, making new routines...all that boring stuff that you HAVE to do!

Lil bit is such a blessing to all of us. He fills our days with joy and laughter (and our nights with sleeplessness). He is THE most restless sleeper, even talking in his sleep! So funny! Such a little blessing from God. We are so thankful for him.

Lil man is growing like a weed. He is still nonverbal. We don't know why, and are working like crazy to get him to talk, but at this point I'm not so sure he ever will. I know I shouldn't give up. Nothing is impossible with God. In my flesh I am so weak, always telling God what He can and cannot do. He is so good, so faithful, to put up with a sinner like me;0)

Jeremiah 32:27

Behold, I am Jehovah, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?

No God, there is nothing too difficult for you!

When Little man was born, the verse that the Lord gave to me was out of Isaiah. I always thought it was a strange verse for the situation, but over the years it has become more clear what He was telling me.

Isaiah 43:18-20

“Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past.

19“Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.

20“The beasts of the field will glorify Me,
The jackals and the ostriches,
Because I have given waters in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert,
To give drink to My chosen people.

21“The people whom I formed for Myself
Will declare My praise.

God continues to amaze me with the way He is stretching me, testing me, and growing me. In ways I never would have asked for, but I know that with Him, it is all gonna be okay. Somehow, someway, He's gonna use it all for His glory through me. Praise God! Keep doing the new thing, God!

Our trees were so beautiful this year! The leaves were spectacular!

2010-08-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

We had quite the morning.

We were driving home from camping, down a two lane highway frequented by semis. It always scares the daylights out of me traveling that road, but it is the only road to one of our favorite campgrounds on the ocean. Anyhow. We were rounding a corner and I noticed a car crossing the centerline coming in the opposite direction in front of us. I always drill myself on what to do if this should ever happen, because, like I said, the road scares me to death. I veered off the road, sideswiping a Bob's barricade on the way off, and watched in utter and absolute horror as the car slammed into a semi-truck two cars in front of us.

When the explosion had settled and I had made sure all in my car were well, I got out of the car and ran to the victims. The woman was screaming, the man was pinned in the car. I am the only one there, and I can do nothing but wait. I screamed at my son to call 911. The lady in the car in front of me just stood in horror on the other side of the road. All I could do was tell them to remain calm because help was on the way, all the time praying that this man didn't die.

Eventually, more people gathered around. Neighbors from houses near where the accident occurred. I was no longer alone.

The most beautiful sound in the world today was the sound of sirens.

The man was extracted using the jaws of life, and life-flighted out.

My prayers have been with the two victims all day, as well as the semi driver. The impact was so severe, they had to forklift his truck off the road. There was no way he could have avoided the car.

Meanwhile, I feel like I need counseling. I'm a nurse and all, but I could never work this aspect of medicine. First responders have my utmost respect. I can't stop shaking, and I can't think straight.

I'm so thankful we were spared. I had all 6 children in the car with me. I thank God I pulled off the road in time. I thank God that he guided me safely through this morning. I thank God my son wasn't driving.

I just want to either throw up or cry for several hours.

And I don't care if I ever see that road again.

2010-05-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Goodnes.

Am I actually going to post? I can't believe it!

Life has been crazy busy here. No seriously. Crazy. Busy. Let's see...well, Peanut has kept me on my toes like a wild woman. There has been a debate here over whether God has a wonderful sense of humor to save the wildest child for my late age or whether Peanut just has more opportunity to do things (because of my being distracted) that my other children didn't.

Either way.

He has kept us on our toes. I had to highlight my hair to hide the gray. Sad state, people. Sad state of affairs, indeed.

Nonetheless, we are so very blessed with this sweet angel. We are all completely smitten with his scrunchy face smiles and sweet kisses.

Little Man, we have discovered, is sensitive to just about every food on the planet. I exaggerate of course. Every food We Americans hold dear, anyway. So we have had to discover an entire new way of eating. Our doctor has discovered he has "off the charts" sensitivities to Gluten (most wheat, grain, products contain gluten...it is easier to say "he can eat rice"), and Casein. Casein is a milk protein found in just about all milks. Goat, Cow, you name it. He drinks almond milk now. It's pretty good, actually. I was never a big fan of cow's milk. yuck. I do like cheese, though. That is a no-no for him. Anyhow. Everything that he ate was causing him problems. Problems like lack of concentration, stomach pain, basic miserableness, even some "autistic-like" behaviors. It is crazy. I knew food affected us, but never knew it could have such an affect. When he was having seizures, I researched like crazy the (name slips my mind) diet that is a protein diet that can literally stop seizures in some people. If the meds hadn't worked, I was going to do that step next. Now I wish I had done it first. The seizures could have been caused by the gluten sensitivity.

Little Man is a much happier person. He is slowly trying to communicate. His eye-contact has improved incredibly. He listens and follows directions much better. Three months into it, I am still learning. It is definitely a process. He may outgrow the sensitivities in time. We will have to wait and see.
He did finally move to a "big boy bed". He is doing awesome in it. In fact, he is probably already ready for a twin bed. Poor little guy keeps rolling off of it at night. Even with bed rails, he rolls off of the foot of it. What a wild little sleeper!

Mother's day Ice Cream outing...

Caught off my parents' dock.

I will try to be better about posting. I promise.

Love to all.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all....

2009-12-23T13:43:00.001-08:00

I love Christmas! I love the hope and joy in knowing that "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." This truth is astounding to me. I am so undeserving of this love.
God is so Good...yet even that seems cliche when describing Him and His great love for us. I know I will never fathom it.

If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: "God with us." We tend to focus our attention at Christmas on the infancy of Christ. The greater truth of the holiday is His deity. More astonishing than a baby in the manger is the truth that this promised baby is the omnipotent Creator of the heavens and the earth!
John MacArthur

My prayer this Christmas is that we would keep our eyes on the indescribable gift that God brought to us over 2000 years ago. Emmanuel....God with us.

Have a blessed Christmas and New Year!

Pictures

2009-11-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd drop in to post a few pics of our wee one...

He is loving being spoiled by everyone.
We have been having fun camping and walking our favorite beach

Thanksgiving was beautiful, although DH's dad has spent the holiday in the hospital with kidney failure. Please keep him in your prayers! He is doing much better, and they are expecting his kidneys (miraculously) to recover. God is so good!

ramblings....

2009-09-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

Wow! Can I just say Wow? Two months since I posted. Two reasons. First, my camera broke. Don't ever buy a Canon Powershot G9. It has spent it's short life in the shop more than I can say, and this time I don't think I'm gonna fix it. Second reason... Time just flies when you are loving a sweet baby... and raising all ages in between. Seriously. If it starts going any faster I'm gonna get depressed.
School has started, which means I "might" find more time to blog. That along with two of little man's therapists moving jobs has left me at home more during the week. Little Man...now that is a story. He still is not talking. He says words, then never says them again, or only rarely says them. I'm beginning to wonder if he will ever talk. So are his therapists. They are talking about a diagnosis of apraxia. Pray for him. I would love to hear him say "ma-ma" But if I keep talking about it it will break my heart, so I'll stop.
My prayer is that God will help me to see His purpose in it all. Help me stop worrying and fretting about things I cannot change and enjoy what is. Does that make sense? It is what it is...as my husband loves to point out. And I'm afraid little man falls in that category. I certainly can't make him talk, only God can. He sure is a sweety, talk or no talk. I pray that through all of this, I will see God's awesome purpose and not be blinded by my own selfish desires. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is teaching, always teaching and guiding me. I just pray I am never too blind to see it.

We have made some wonderful memories this summer. I feel so blessed to be mama to these precious children, and want so desperately to just absorb every day, every minute, every second. To make them count.

Everyone else is growing like weeds. The teenagers passed me in height long ago. Now they are just towering more and more over me. DS learning to drive has been fun. He is doing awesome.

in school this year we decided to try "My Father's World" for the younger three. I adapt it some for the 3rd grader and some for the 8th grader. It has been going well, but I was expecting more of a unit study type thing and it really is not. I wanted more "fun." It is okay, just not sure I would do it again at this point.

Well, if that isn't a rambling post nothing is...guess I just had to empty the old brain...

Habakkuk 3:18

2009-07-27T08:32:00.001-07:00

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

This morning we said goodbye to my brother and his family who are following God's leading to East Asia. I am so very excited for them, yet at the same time, so very sad. It will be 2-4 years before we see one another again, and my soul lingers somewhere between deep pain for losing them and unspeakable joy for what God is doing in their lives. In my quiet time this morning, while presenting all of this to God, I clearly felt Him Say to me, " I gave my Son."
What more could I say?
I give my brother and his family...for a short while.
God gave His Son.
Goodbye, dear brother. We will miss you terribly. We will miss your sweet children. The children will miss their cousins.
Yet we will choose to rejoice in the Lord.

May he use you to reach this unreached people for His name. May His name be glorified through you and your family.

may the road rise to meet you
may the wind be ever at your back
may the sun shine warm upon your face
and the rain fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again
may God hold you,
may God hold you
ever in the palm of his hand

until we meet again

"The Lord of hosts has sworn, saying, 'Surely, as I have thought, so it shall come to pass,
And as I have purposed, so it shall stand: Isaiah 14:24

July

2009-07-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while;o) Just wanted to show everyone what happens when you are stuck in the house recovering from a c-section for 6 weeks and you finally make it to the hairdresser. Be prepared....

I go from this...

to this...

shocking, eh? I wanted different, and closer to my natural color ok it may be a leeettllleee darker than my natural color, but at this point, who knows? Tired of being blond and 7yo ds telling me that my hair is half black, half white LOL.
Little one is enjoying being spoiled...He's seven weeks now...He is such an angel. So in love....We thank God for them all every night. Children are such a blessing.

Loves his swaddle blanket, too...the things they come up with these days. I love it!

My brother and his family leave for Southeast Asia in two weeks. We will miss them, and pray God will bless their ministry there. They will be gone for 2 years before they will return. Pray for them.

We were able to spend the 4th with them at my parents, and this weekend we are holding a cookout in their honor. I have some shopping to do!
Everyone is doing great..growing like weeds...

Well better drag my lazy self to the store. I would much rather sit here holding a content, sleeping baby...Hope everyone has a wonderful summer! Hope to blog more soon, but truly, right now my hands are at least half-full most of the time. He has to be held.

1 Samuel 1:27

2009-05-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:

Little one was born via emergency c-section on Saturday. He was breech, and 4 weeks premature, but weighed in at 6 pounds and was 19 inches long. The neonatologists were so impressed. He didn't even have to visit the NICU, which was a huge praise! He was able to come home with Momma and Daddy.

He is such a sweet little one, and we are so very happy he is here! Everyone is completely in love!

God's Grace

2009-02-25T04:57:00.000-08:00

I am hoping to grab a few moments this AM, before all becomes hectic, to give testimony to God's grace. He is so good.

You see, our week started out as usual. Monday morning, I started to insist upon my husband taking my car, the newer, more fuel efficient one, rather than his gas guzzling Excursion. I thought better of it. I don't know why, something just told me to leave it.

I'm so glad I did.

We decided to cut school short and head out to the DMV to get my son's learner's permit. He has been studying online and felt he was ready. I called my husband and told him where we were heading, and, of course, he insisted on meeting us there. He wanted to be there to share the moment. He's awesome like that.

He calls me while I am driving to tell me he is on hitting the interstate and will be there shortly after me. Ten minutes later, he calls again. "I've been in an accident, I'm fine, but I won't be meeting you there. No one is hurt, it was a single vehicle accident. I have to go."

It always stuns me how life can turn in a minute.

It would take a while before I would learn what happened.

It seems that a semi-tractor trailer, going 65 miles per hour on the opposite side of the highway, lost his wheel. Not just his wheel, mind you. Two wheels. You know how they have a double wheel? Well, both of them had sheared off at the axle, so this wheel assembly, along with the rims, part of the axle, nuts, bolts, you name it, came speeding across the median straight at my husband's truck, also going 65 mph. He had no where to go. He said his first thought was to try to see where it came from, but once it impacted, he lost total control of the car. Then his only thought was, "Please God, don't let me flip." On impact, his axle broke and he lost both steering and most of his braking ability. The headers broke. All the transmission lines were severed. The brake lines were severed. The engine, as it was designed to do, dropped on the side of the impact. His car immediately veered into the grassy median, heading across an approximately 30 foot embankment into oncoming traffic. Thankfully he didn't flip. He didn't go into oncoming traffic. A good samaritan stopped and insisted that my husband get out of the truck. My husband told him he was okay, he just needed to get his bearings a minute. The man insisted he get out now. They muscled the driver-side door open, and my husband stepped out of the car to see the median on fire (waist high) from the wheel assembly. Thankfully, a DOT worker pulled up at that moment to extinguish the flames. Other than whiplash, and some upper body bruising and sprains, my husband is fine.

All of the responding officers. All four of them, 1 city and 3 troopers said, without hesitation, that they knew he didn't want to hear it, but they were glad that the thing hit him and not someone else. They told him usually these things hit someone's windshield, and they pull a body from the car. They said if he had been in ANY OTHER vehicle, he would most likely have been dead. They praised his ability to not flip the vehicle. He made sure they knew it was all God.

So this week, I want to give testimony to God's grace. Here are some pictures of our 8500 pound "Black Beauty." We are pretty sure she is headed for the junkyard. Among everything else, the frame is bent. We are gonna miss her! I am definitely rooting for buying another one!

I am thankful, as we celebrate Little Man's birthday this week, that I have the love of my life by my side. The very first thing the children and I did, after their Daddy's phone call, was to pull over and praise God for His protection over dh. I listened to my sweet 15 year old's voice give thanks to God for his mercy and loving protection over his Daddy.

There is another story to come out of this, too, but time is short and I will have to share it on another day. It involves a man who was following my husband, who pulled up much later to talk to him, and my husband's opportunity to witness to him about the Lord.

2009-02-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

We had our big ultrasound this week. Everything looked great and......(drum roll).....

It's a boy!

We're so excited!

One of those days...

2009-01-19T14:48:00.001-08:00

I will blog for real, one of these days. I promise. But today has just been one of those days...

An introduction

2008-12-15T14:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone....meet (as yet unnamed puppy).... right now we are leaning towards Elvis.

Praise the Lord!

2008-12-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

I just returned from my 12 week appointment and.....We heard the heartbeat! YEAH!

I have to admit it, I cried. It was just such a blessed, awesome moment to know our little one was safe and sound.

Our God is a Good God, and His mercy endures forever. He never ceases to amaze me, and moments like today bring me to my knees in worship of Him all over again.

Random thoughts

2008-11-17T13:31:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update on our family! So far, the pregnancy is going well. Last week, we saw the baby's heartbeat and he/she was measuring to date. I have about 3 weeks to go before the next check-up, which will be the most difficult one for me. Our first miscarriage was discovered at 14 weeks, but the baby had died at 12 weeks. At the next appointment I will be a little over 12 weeks.
I am not living in fear, like I thought I would, "perfect love casts out fear." God has been very gracious and has given me peace. That being said, I so want this baby, and I am praying fervently, and ask that anyone who reads this would pray fervently for me as well, in the coming weeks. Thanks so much!

On another note! We went camping a few weeks back to a park not too far from here. We had a wonderful time!
playing football...

Hiking...

(we didn't see any squirrel gators, we were so disappointed)
Telling stories by the campfire (the flash was blinding them!)
And just enjoying one another as a family.
I'm so grateful for all that God has given to me. One of my favorite lines of all time (in the movies) is from Facing the Giants. It is at the end, when everything comes together for the coach, he wins the championship, and his wife tells him she is pregnant. He buries his head and cries, "Oh, God, I'm overwhelmed."

I have felt like that a lot lately. Overwhelmed by the greatness of God.

Boy's room

2008-11-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, I promised pictures, I just ate and my stomach is settled for a few minutes, so here goes.
As I told you earlier, the walls are orange. I didn't think I could live with it, but it is growing on me. It actually looks pretty good. The colors they picked were orange, red and blue.

Here are a few pictures of the beds my dh made!

Here is a side view of the full-sized bed...

Here is the side of the twin. When little man gets a little older, we will put a mattress under it with some sort of containment to keep him from escaping.
Here is the front with some of the children standing in front of the house.
And here is just a view of the front.

Pretty cool, huh?

The boys wanted a spy shack, but we just were at a loss to come up with ideas for the framing of it. A beach shack I could come up with tons of ideas, so eventually, they were swayed. They finally realized that a "true" spy shack wouldn't advertise itself as such :0) It was a fun, and surprisingly inexpensive project. And dh got to use his power tools which always makes him happy. (He secretly wants to be Norm...you know the old yankee workshop guy.)

I still have some decorating to do, but I am the queen of procrastination lately. I'll post more when the decorating gets under way. Right now the walls are kind of bare, but hey, we live in real time, not HGTV time. It'll get done when it gets done!

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-03T13:59:00.001-08:00

We had a wonderful Halloween this year. I was so sorry I couldn't dress us as well;o(
We had a superhero show up!

and Gandalf the white

Arwen (the elf.) LOTR (those who know, know)

a very unenthusiastic cow

And a bee!

We also managed to surprise DH's mom with a 75th birthday party on Saturday. She nearly fainted! It was such a sweet, awesome celebration! I couldn't believe we were able to keep it a surprise! It was so nice to catch up with lots of dear old friends and pastors whom hubby and I had lost touch with. I have lots of pictures, but will only post a few...

Here is dh singing his well-known (around these parts) happy birthday rendition.

Mom...

Dh telling how very much she means to him.

Nana blowing out the candles!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Okay, people ( I really don't think anyone reads this blog anymore) I've got to go...nausea is getting the best of me, and staring at the computer is DEFINITELY making it worse. I'll post soon...we finished the boy's room
and I can't wait to show off what dh made for them! He needs to be on HGTV or something!

Wordless October....

2008-10-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

The blog has been sadly neglected this month. However, I have some exciting news to share, so I'll break the silence.

Say hello to the newest addition to our family....expected to arrive June 2009.
We are so very excited! God is so good.

Please pray with us for this pregnancy. After 2 miscarriages, we have battled fear to have another child, even though our hearts so wanted another baby to raise for Him, (2 Timothy 1:7). God brought this pregnancy about in His time, and through His will. God is so awesome and has given us such a peace about this pregnancy. It is truly the peace that passes understanding that can only come from Him. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God created this baby for a purpose, and this baby is His.

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Awareness Test

2008-09-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

My oldest is studying logic this year. We like to find examples of different fallacies around. We found this one and are still cracking up about it.

I don't want to spoil it, but we will be repeating one line in this over and over...

September

2008-09-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Sweet Lil Pee Wee's birthday this month. He turned 7. Seven? How can that be? Time flies...reminds me of a quote off of star trek...
Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey that reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we live it. After all, Number One, we're only mortal.
--Captain Jean Luc Picard Star Trek Generations Paramount Pictures, 1994

School has started wonderfully, the bedroom project lingers...or looms large. Not helped much by me putting the legs of the bed together wrong....we live, we learn, right?

I'll leave you with a picture of Little Man doing his school work.

Okay, someone said swimming time, so I've GOT to get in there, too!

Alaska Governor Palin to be McCain's running mate

2008-08-29T08:57:00.000-07:00

I may stand alone (won't be the first time), but I am thrilled at McCain's choice. I am anxious to see what Governor Palin brings to the table. I have followed her since the birth of her 5th son, Trig, who has Down Syndrome. The news was circulated through the local Down Syndrome association about his birth and her reaction to it. She seems like a force to be reckoned with! This is a most interesting development!

Alaska Governor Palin to be McCain's running mate

Wednesday, August???? 20??

2008-08-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! I've been lost to blogland for a while. I have thought (frequently) about just deleting the blog and moving on...life is just too full and I don't want to miss any of it typing on my computer;-) For now, anyways, I'm still here.
DD celebrated her 10th birthday this month. We had a wonderful time. She is growing into such a sweet, Godly young lady...I'm so proud of her.

We have been feverishly working on the boys room, still.... One bed is completely made and we have one more in the finishing stages. I'm thinking of going out there today to work on it if I can find the time. It is coming along great and I can't wait to see the finished room. It's been fun!

We also got to experience some of Faye. What a mess! We thought, briefly, that we might have to four-wheel it out of here, but, thankfully, all of the drainage worked as it was designed (whew!). Some others around here were not so fortunate.

Well, I better get back to school! I'm looking at all of these pictures on my computer and it is stressing me out! I REALLY need to get some of them printed! What is up with me?

Happy Anniversary!

2008-08-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

This past weekend hubby and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. If ever I doubt God's love for me, all I need do is look at what a blessing He gave me when dh and I met 21 years ago. Not only is he my husband and the most awesome father, he is also my very best friend.

I love you, honey! Happy Anniversary!

I wonder what God was thinking,when he created you.
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because he made all my dreams come true.
When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.~newsong

Favorite Things

2008-07-30T10:08:00.000-07:00

The Homeschool Minute e-mail today had this article by Family Man Todd Wilson. It brought a smile to my face as I sit here, surrounded by lesson plans, with a thunderstorm raging outside. Maybe it will bring one to yours, as well.

Now I can't stop humming this tune.

The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries

Favorite things about homeschooling . . . hmmm . . . favorite things . . . favorite things.

(Queue the music.)

School in my pjs and short simple school days
Hot steaming coffee and basking in sunrays
Children that miss out on lots of 'bad' things
These are a few of my favorite things

Oom pah pa . . . oom pah pa

Mountains of good books and time for their hobbies
Learning to be godly daddies and mommies
Chores and routines that help keep our house clean
These are a few of my favorite things

Babies and toddlers and growing teenagers
All in the same house without social dangers
Living and learning although the phone rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the kids scream
When I am mean
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feeeeeeelllll sooo baaaad.

The hills are alive with the sound of REALNESS!
Todd

God's Love

2008-07-24T06:00:00.001-07:00

The Love of God
Frederick Lehman

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God's love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam's race--
The saints' and angels' song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Summer Projects

2008-07-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

We finished moving the girls' room in early June. It was so easy to accomodate them and their ideas for their room went very smoothly. Here is the finished product....a little messy...

It was on to moving the boys' room. Three boys wanting to share a room. The room is big, measuring roughly 16x16. They share a room now...no problem, right? WRONG. Different favorite colors, different ages, different wants. It has been a challenge. So, six weeks later, here the room sits.

We had lots of good ideas, my husband and I. Our favorite was the camoflague jungle, treehouse theme. Oh, the cool things we could do. Complete with a platform built halfway up the wall for a reading area and a treehouse ladder that you could climb through the ceiling of their room into the girls' room. How cool is that?
Well, none of it went over very well. (My husband and I decided to put a treehouse ladder in our room onto the roof :-))
(I'm kidding.) (I have to clarify that, people that know my husband will think I'm serious.)
Finally, they have settled on a color....orange. My husband is going to build loft beds and we are going to convert the bottom into a fort-type area. Here is that project in progress...

(The mess on the other side is my schoolroom....sigh...)
Oh, and the mickey mouse hanging from the ceiling is a gift from my husband. That is where my van goes, and he put it there so I wouldn't drive straight through the garage into the pool. His words, not mine. And, no, I haven't ever wrecked in the garage before.
We will hang camo blind on the outside of the fort-area and put rope lights and beanbags inside. Maybe put the legos in there as well so that Little Man doesn't get into them. The second loft bed will probably have a fort area underneath as well, but later we are going to convert and build a bed underneath, kind of like a bunk bed, but the bed will be on the floor. We will modify it by putting a gate around it of some sort so Little Man doesn't wander out of it. That will be much later, though. Right now he is still in a crib, which fits him fine.
Power tools are a man's best friend, right? My husband is loving the project...especially the trips to Home Depot and Lowes;-)
I am setting up a modified schoolroom in my dining room, which is where we started out anyway. It is kind of nice to not have all of that stuff in there. I may stay in there permanently and just open up the garage one weekend for a garage sale....or maybe I'll just drag it all down to the curb and post it on Craig's list. I'm tempted....Can you say "no perseverance?"

Tagged!

2008-07-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

My friend Tricia at Notes of Sincerity has tagged me. So here goes...

1. Where have you traveled?

My mom is from Honduras (her ancestors were European, though, not native, so I don't have that beautiful, Spanish look), so the most interesting places I have traveled have been to that part of the world. She was born and raised on Utila Bay Island, off of the coast of Honduras, and we have visited La Ceiba, Belize, and Tegucigalpa, just to name a few places. We went to Utila many times growing up to visit grandparents and relatives. Other than that, on the mainland here, I have been to Tennessee, Alabama (have family there), Mexico City, Mexico; Florida Keys, Miami, (pretty much all of Florida), Louisiana (family there, too), Texas (as far as San Antonio), Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, and Virginia.

2. Where would you like to live?

Ummmm, does a tropical island in the middle of nowhere count?
I have thought seriously about moving to Utila Bay Island, Honduras many times.
As much as I think about doing it (the island thing), I am pretty content where I am.

3. What is your decorating style?

French country, mostly. I have a lot of eclectic tendencies. (Not to be confused with eccentric...:-))

4. How many times have you been married?

Once, to my forever love.

5. Favorite color?

I like black (it really isn't a color, it is an absence of color, technically:-)). I also like any variation of red. Just not those two colors together. (No, I am NOT a Georgia Bulldogs fan).

6. What is your proudest accomplishment?

Spiritually, I would say every day that I trust God and don't give in to fear, I am pretty humbled by the grace of God in my life.
I couldn't accomplish anything on my own power. (Believe me, I have tried.) It is only God working through me that allows me to do anything. On my own, I am worthless.

2 Corinthians 4:7-11 - But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show us that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body.

7. What would we be absolutely shocked to learn about you?

I have no idea. My life is pretty much an open book. I can't think of anything that would absolutely shock anyone. I'll keep racking my brain though...

A silly fact about me, though, is that I LOVE roller coaster rides. My husband used to think I was insane, but he has gradually come around to enjoying them as well. (As long as they don't spin...hee hee). I am, however, terrified of Ferris Wheels. Go figure. I will ride Ferris Wheels, I just white knuckle it the whole time. My children think I'm hilarious.
Ferris Wheels and clowns. Two things that absolutely freak me out.
Shudder

I'm tagging Jennifer over at Jaxbabieshomeschooladventures.

Have a great day!

No more braces!

2008-07-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

YEAH!
Now we get to start all over again with dd!

Psalm 56:3

2008-06-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic week. We have had appointments every single morning. As Charlie Brown would say BLECH!!! Now I am sitting on my back patio, watching the children swim as Little Man naps in his crib. Ahhhhh!

This was actually taken on vacation...but you get the idea...he's three...he goes until he pure passes out...

I have a tendency to wax philosophical, but today I am going to resist those urges.
I'm thankful that all of the doctor's visits were good news. Nothing serious going on. Our 14 year-old is FINALLY getting his braces off. It has been a good week. All fears were allayed.

Which brings me back to my philosophical urges (or spiritual urges) to reflect on something that has taken ahold of my heart this week.

Fear and Trust.

They are always cohabitating in my mind. There is always a split road, a point at which I must grab myself and say...Okay Miss...Whatcha gonna do? (I do talk to myself like that.) Fear or trust?
Sometimes I choose fear. It is an ugly master. It runs wild with my imagination, leaving me scared to breathe, scared to step, terrified to move. Unfortunately, it is something I choose far more often than I would like.
This week, once again I was drawn to one of my favorite verses in the Bible.

God reminded me that fear is a feeling. Trust is a choice. Fear is a reaction, faith (trust) is a response. How I choose to react changes my condition.
C.H. Spurgeon once said, “Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.”
Wise words. I want my children to see faith, not fear. I want to be strong today. I want to leave a legacy of faith, not fear. If I can't trust, how can I model trust to my children? How can I be strong in the Lord, if I don't cast ALL of my cares upon Him, even the small ones?

That sure is a lot of I's I have used today....
Just a little something I have been meditating on this week.
I went all philosophical anyway, didn't I? Sorry.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-06-25T11:40:00.001-07:00

A week at the beach

2008-06-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

The girls (and Pee Wee) are at a birthday party. The boys are cutting the lawn, and I am doing laundry. I thought I would take a few moments to post some pics from our wonderful vacation.
What a blessing! I LOVE the ocean. I grew up playing in the sand at the beach. My earliest memories involve surfing, or skimboarding on homemade skimboards, or body surfing, or climbing rocks (back when we had rocks). This week was like returning to my element. But, it is SO nice to be home! There is no place like it.
I will remember the sunrise(s)

The moonrise(s)

The storms

Exploring the fort

Pee Wee wanted to know if we payed them a dollar if we could shoot off a canon:-)

The park

And, of course, the memories made...

the snuggles

the laughs

the cookout :-)

The long talks and the ever-present laughter of children.

Thank you, Lord. My cup runneth over.

June

2008-06-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

This month we celebrated a birthday...guess whose?

Two sweet babies lost two sweet baby teeth...

And we are currently spending a week at the beach....
Yahoo!
I promise I will post pictures! Later!

~Thank you~

2008-05-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

To all those who gave, who continue to give. To those who sacrifice every day so we can live in peace and freedom.
My family remembers you this day. You are not forgotten.

Last Day of School!

2008-05-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

Psalms 143:8 ~KJV~ "Cause me to hear thy
lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know
the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee."

Today we finished our last day of school! YEAH! We spent the day tying up loose ends and filing a few papers that needed to be filed.

Pee Wee spent the morning avoiding anything that resembled work...

We will be moving our schoolroom (again) over the summer. I think we have officially schooled in every room of the house now! With little ones growing, and no new little ones on the way :-( we figured it made sense to give the boys the bigger room and let the girls choose between the two leftover rooms. Of course, they chose the schoolroom (couldn't make my job easy, could they?) So I'll be moving and painting three rooms this summer. Hopefully I'll be done in time for school! The rooms need painting, badly, anyway! I guess this is a good way to get motivated. Although, I have to admit, I have tried to think of every excuse to get out of it...even down to the "I hate change" one;-) Didn't work. I'm still thinking, though. I might come up with one they'll buy just yet!

Here are some pictures from the official "last day of school."

Here we are posing together. (Little man was NOT happy to be pulled away from Signing Time.)

Smile sweetie!
I think Fuffy likes Signing Time as much as Little Man.

For the first time in forever, I have ordered ALL of my curriculum months before school starts back! I'm hoping it will give me all summer to space out scheduling for next year (Yeah, right...). Hopeful thinking...
The girls started Piano lessons this week with an awesome teacher who lives not very far from us. They are very excited, and have been practicing faithfully.
Pee wee wants to learn to play the drums. I am trying to talk him into guitar, like his brother. Those lessons are free! (from DH). Besides, Pee Wee on drums makes me think of Animal. Remember him, on the Muppet Show?

We might not survive drum practice! Hubby likes the idea, of course. He says we could get digital drums (those are so cool, you can practice on headphones, no noise) and then we would have a full band under one roof!
I'm thinking hearing loss.
I'm not convinced...maybe we could barter. I don't paint and move rooms, and he can buy the drum set! Sounds good to me:-)

Field day

2008-05-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

We participated in our local "promotion night" for homeschool students. The children really enjoyed it!

Today we had a field day at the local park. There were some games and "get to know you" type of activities which the children "loved."

When we pulled up to the park, I looked to my oldest and said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry, it looks like you are the oldest one here." It seems our group keeps getting younger and younger. :-) I guess I am an "older homeschool guru" now, huh? (hee hee)

I thought he would feel out of place. After a while, mothers started coming up to me saying what an "awesome, priceless young man" he was. "Most teenagers don't act like him."( I cringed at that one, but she was a new homeschool mom, so I didn't lecture.)
I was involved in conversation and had no idea WHAT they were talking about:-) I looked questioningly at the 3rd mother to approach me. "Oh, you can just tell he has a lot of younger siblings, he is so good with the kids."
Okay, they had my attention now. I wandered over to find my son engaged in a game with about 7 other much younger children, maybe 6-8 age range. He had put a chicken sticker on his head and told them that his name was "Chicken Man". It was so funny;-) They had their hands tied together and were trying to gift wrap a present faster than another group of children. He was right in the middle of it, narrating the event step by step as the children dissolved into giggles at his humor. The little ones loved it.

He is his father's son, I guess.

I walk into a situation and immediately get nervous. They walk into any situation and immediately become the center of attention:-) I guess he is teaching me, now.

I'm a proud MaMa today:-) Not because he was the center of attention, but because he exemplified Christ to those young children. He treated them with respect and love, making them laugh and being their friend despite the age difference. We left the park with shrieks of "BYE CHICKEN MAN" following us to the car.

Reflections

2008-05-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

The farmhouse sits, now abandoned, wrapped in a plastic jumbo yard bag in our attic. I don't have the heart to give it away. Every time I see it, I fight back tears. I have often thought of putting it on display, so I'd never forget. Forget what? Regrets.

I am not a perfect mother. I'm not the perfect Christian.

See, it was Pee Wee's farmhouse. A few years back, day after day he would ask me to play it with him. It started when I was pregnant with Little Man. PeeWee would ask, I would put him off...only to have the cycle repeated again later. It became a daily ritual:

"Mommy, will you play farm with me?"

"Won't anyone else play with you, honey? Mommy's busy."

And busy I was. Cleaning, cooking, being sick. And then later, after Little Man's birth, worrying, fretting, dealing with seizures, googling and desperately searching for an answer, a sign, anything to ease the fear and worry in my heart. Dr. Mac Brunson says something that describes me perfectly during that time: "We become experts at our problems, don't we? We look at it from every angle. We study it. We google it. We find out every kind of thing we can find out about it. We just commisurate over it and pour over it and spend time over it. We know it from this side to that side to the other side. This is the disaster in my life."

Then one day, I wasn't asked.

I realized it had been a while since the farm had come out. I found it under the crib one day, as I was cleaning. The memories flooded my mind as the tears flowed down my face. Two and a half years had gone by. Life was a new state of normal, and during it all, my sweet little Pee Wee had grown up.

Mothers, I missed it.

I missed a precious, irreplaceable time.

I know, I have a really good excuse. The pregnancy, the Down Syndrome diagnosis, the seizures.

Still, I cannot forgive myself.

Maybe it is because I was letting fear and worry rule instead of trusting God. I could kick myself for wavering in my faith and not standing strong. How could God still love a wretch like me?

Dr. Brunson goes on in that same sermon to say, "Faith gets your eyes off of the disaster to the one who can deliver you out of it." How would my life have been different if I had just trusted God?

Mothers, I hope maybe, possibly, I can touch someone with this story. Don't miss it. This time in our lives goes by so fast. Live with no regrets. Have faith in God. He holds it all right there in His very capable hands.

It is so important to forge relationships with our children while they are still young. Play with them. Let them know you love them. Don't waste another minute of your life in worry and fear.

And if, by chance, you are dealing with a Down Syndrome diagnosis and you have other children, don't let it rule your life.
Don't.
Just.
Don't.
Your other children need you, too. They need normalcy, the best that you can give it. They need Mommy to play farmhouse and read them stories and hold them. Your Down Syndrome child will be okay. He will grow, and learn, and do whatever it is God has planned for his life.

I vow never to miss another memory, another blanket tent, another tree fort, another dive in the pool, another trip to the beach, another game of farm.

Pee Wee knows I love him. This is something he barely remembers.

But I do...and I missed it.

God willing, never again.
When I never grow up, I do not want to feel this way:

My hands were busy through the day.

I didn't have much time to play

The little games you asked me to

I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes.

I'd sew and cook,

But when you'd bring your picture book

And asked me please to share your fun,

I'd say, "A little later son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

Then tiptoe softly to the door...

I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past.

A little boy grows up so fast.

No longer is he at your side,

His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,

There are no longer games to play.

No good-night kisses, no prayers to hear,

That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now are still

The days are long and hard to fill.

I wish I could go back and do

The little things you asked me to.

(Author Unknown)

So the farmhouse sits there. A reminder to me of how important it is to trust God, to seize the day. To play with and enjoy these little ones God has entrusted to my care for this short time. Because the truth is, sadly, I can't go back. I can only go forward.

(By the way, if you are interested, you can get Dr. Brunson's sermon through itunes. It is called "When faith is on the rocks." It is an awesome sermon by a very gifted preacher. I don't go to his church (as my husband would say it is not in my Jerusalem), but I do listen to his sermons on my ipod.)

Romans 15:13

2008-05-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

This week Little Man started Therapeutic listening therapy at home. We bought the specialized headphones and our therapist is providing the cd's from a lending library. I hesitate to say anything is the magic bullet. ;-) My hope, my expectation comes from Him who holds it all in His hand. Regardless, LM has reached a few milestones since starting the therapy. He is babbling more and trying to imitate sounds. He has REALLY started to interact with and explore his environment. AND....Drum roll please...he finally put coins in the pig!!!

And he is doing it consistently, like he has done it his whole life!

This is a BIG CELEBRATORY DEAL and we are so thankful to God for this progress. LM also has a neurology appointment this coming Monday after which he will come off of his final seizure pill (topamax)! That means after Monday no more seizure meds! Praise God! We are so very thankful for God's healing in his life.

We are steadily winding up our school year. Here are a few pics from this a.m.

Spelling time.

Break time.

History time. (Pee Wee didn't get to do rabbit ears on this one, he wasn't fast enough).

Signing time. (Again, the camera is faster than the rabbit ear.)

This past weekend we took down our fence in the back yard. It looks so much better, and the children are loving the open spaces.
Here is a view from the schoolroom (second floor).

Here is DH's favorite spot, and the boys' "fishing hole." I call it "water moccasin hideout." I swear there is an alligator in there, too. Dh just laughs at me and tells me it's a frog making that weird sound. (All the neighbors do, too. Maybe they know more than I do.:-))
We finally got caught up on LOST...Dh and I have watched it since the beginning, but since we don't have cable, or satellite, we watch it on our Apple TV through itunes. (Reception is horrible on antennae out here.) We have such fun with it. We pick apart every new show looking for "clues" as to what is going on. It's a new theory every week for us...
That's news for this week. I could write tons more, but there is lunch to be prepared and appointments to keep....
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. (Robert Frost)

Friday...

2008-04-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

We spent this past weekend at my parent's house. It was a wonderful, relaxing time. The children all enjoyed spending time with their grandparents and playing at the beach. Little Man LOVED the water. He just kept signing, over and over, "want, more, want, more." (Of course, he won't do that for his therapists, go figure.)

Here's Pee Wee chasing his body board.

Ds throwing rocks, contemplating whether or not he really wants to get wet.

Little man screaming in delight. (He's just trying to figure out a way to get around PePa's legs.)

Besides that, we have been steadily plugging away at school. Little Man enjoys fingerpainting the most. I am looking into curriculum for next year and still stressing a little about high school. But I have learned one thing for certain these past weeks, if I'm worrying, I'm not trusting. I'm really working on letting go and letting God take control. I know I will never experience God's best and His will for my life it I don't.

Today we are relaxing and enjoying the gorgeous weather here. It is so beautiful outside!

Here is ds reading to dd:-) Sweet:-)

Have a blessed weekend everyone!

Friday Fun

2008-04-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

My husband and I got a kick out of the rolling pin one, and the alligator.

If your car has a 42 gallon tank like mine you will know how this feels.

Finally, to end Friday fun, we just have to say huh?

Blessings! Have a wonderful weekend!

What's for Dinner

2008-04-08T14:24:00.000-07:00

Thursday is our big shopping day. Here is what is on the stove tonight! It is so yummy. We are trying to cut back on red meat and I am always excited when I find a good non-red-meat recipe. It yields about 40 meatballs... It freezes well, too.

Swedish Turkey Meatballs

2 lbs. ground turkey (7% lean)

1 egg

3/4 cup breadcrumbs

1 tsp. salt

1/2 cup milk

2 tsp. lemon-pepper seasoning

1 tsp. paprika

1/2 tsp. nutmeg

2 tblsp. chopped parsley

1 tblsp. onion flakes

2 cans chicken broth (This is how it is written, but I use 2 of the 2 lb boxes)

2-3 cups homemade white sauce

hot cooked egg noodles (I use No Yolks, it's healthier)

Combine first 10 ingredients (end with onion flakes) and shape into 1 1/2 inch meatballs

Brown meatballs in 1 tblsp. butter in large dutch oven turning carefully to brown on all sides.

(I use 2 skillets then transfer to dutch oven in next step)

Add chicken broth to meatballs and simmer 15 minutes.

Add white sauce.

(I usually add a Tblsp. of flour mixed in water to the sauce to make it a little thicker).

Stir, heat and serve over hot cooked egg noodles.

____________________________________________

The white sauce is made like this:

4 tblsp. butter

4 tblsp. flour

2 cups milk

2tsp. paprika (optional, season as you like)

Melt butter in sauce pan. Add flour (it will become lumpy, stir until you get it smooth).

Add milk slowly, whisking with wire whisk to get out any lumps and heat to desired temperature , you just want it to be hot.)

You can also buy the white sauce at the store pre-made, but it is not quite as good.

This is so delicious! It is one of our favorite dinners. Thought I would share with others!

Have a blessed day!

Clean on Saturday....

2008-04-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

Today I am praticing the fruit of patience:-)

Yes, this is my FAMILY ROOM!

NOT an army men sanctuary!

I only smile because I know someday I will miss it...

So, I bite my tongue, smile, walk around the mess, and thank God they still LOVE to play together!

Thankful for...

2008-04-03T14:34:00.000-07:00

Errands done...
A full pantry and refrigerator...
The children still LOVE the library...

DS still Loves his cowboy boots...

(Well, he's not looking at books but he is in the library!)
And the look on his face when he sees me...
How could I ask for more?

"Perfectly Imperfect"

2008-04-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

God always knows what we need and when we need it, doesn't He? As you can see from below post, I am a little burned out. Trying to figure out High School, do a special needs preschool program for little man, and keep the rest of the balls I am juggling in the air has left me feeling much like the man in the photo below. Guilty (see the hammer and nail he is holding) and utterly exhausted. I am constantly in a state of measuring what I do to someone's standards, be it a therapist, a book, a homeschool guru, or worse by far, my own perfectionist ideas. God has dealt with me gently and lovingly on the spiritual side through my loving DH, who is always wise beyond my capabilities, and Romans 6.

Still I am left with my own inadequacies. And just as I can never be sinless and perfect as my spirit so longs to be, so also I can never be the perfect ___________ (fill in the blank, take your pick.....Therapist, Mother, Teacher, bread baker, nutritionist, housekeeper...blogger). Whenever I try to pick up the one, another area falls victim to neglect. The past few weeks the chosen area of perfection has been poor little man. He has felt the brunt of "therapist Mommy" and has seen fit to rebel in full LM style. Failed again....

Then I find this article this afternoon

Perfectly Imperfect

by Jennifer Graf Gronenberg

When my middle son Avery was diagnosed with Down syndrome at five days old, my Dad said, "Ah, well. He'll be one of the better ones. He'll be the best." It felt like a kindness, and I remember being buoyed by the thought. He may have Down syndrome, but by God, he'll still be the best.

Fast forward six months and Avery had his own rolodex of phone numbers -- for a speech therapist, a physical therapist, a family support specialist, a pediatrician and our family practitioner. His contact list also included an occupational therapist, a doctor of chiropractic, a craniosacral therapist, a naturopath, and a healer.

We had "therapies" every day, sometimes twice a day. When we weren't with a specialist, I was working on Avery's "program" at home. Every minute, every movement was an opportunity to engage him in his development and expand his potential. But the idea that I had control over it all made me a little crazy, and I lived in a perpetual state of worry -- was I scheduling enough, teaching enough, doing enough? Should I be doing more?

Every three months, Avery was evaluated. The affect of constantly comparing him to "normal" left me feeling as if we lived in Deficit Land. We were always behind, of course, but the tougher question was, by how much? And were we gaining, or losing ground?

It all came to a frenzied head one afternoon when my friend Emily stopped by. She reached out to hold Avery (she is a great fan of his), and instead of leaning into her, as was his way, he tucked his head into my neck and burst into tears.

After running through all the usual reasons for crying, an idea born of mother's intuition came to me -- Avery was burned out. At this age, my other boys thought the world was made up of mommies and daddies; Avery's world, to him, was made up of people who wanted something from him. In a word, therapists.

The realization came to me with great sadness. This wasn't what I wanted for my son. If this was where being the best had gotten us, it was time to rethink my goals for him, and for me as his mother.

I know we need to measure; we live in a measuring world, and many of his services were dependent upon him having deficits, things like this: at twenty-eight months, he takes a few steps, here and there, but he is not really walking. He says a few words on occasion, but he is not really talking. These are things his brothers did by twelve months. It's a huge gap, if this is what we measure it by.

But how to measure Avery's love of books? Or the fact that he is the only one of my children who can keep a musical beat? He has a great social intelligence -- Avery is the first one to say (sign) sorry when someone is feeling wronged or sad. And Avery is the first one to recognize when someone needs a smile, even if the man is tattooed and wearing a Hell's Angels jacket. Avery is the first one to offer a hug.

He has character. He has integrity. He knows what he's about. These are the things that are harder to gauge, these things are harder to quantify. But these qualities are what make Avery a unique and whole human being. It's not the measuring that's wrong, it's what we choose to make important. And I am his guardian, his protector. It's up to me to make sure his life has meaning and balance, a fact that I had overlooked in my quest to be the best.

And so Avery's rolodex is tucked away in the cupboard, along with the cookbooks I never use, the scotch tape and the rubber-band ball and the kitchen twine. He has physical therapy once a week because he needs it, he has music class once a week because he loves it, and the rest, well, we've developed a new plan. We're leaving our schedule open, so that we have plenty of time to build blanket forts, bake cookies, and eat snow. I am giving my son his childhood back, and if it means we drop right out of the race, so be it.

I didn't know what I was searching for, but God did, and he gently and lovingly, with one article, set my heart aright.

For the Moments I Feel Faint

2008-03-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

"Forgiven" by Thomas Blackshear II

"For The Moments I Feel Faint"

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

[Chorus]

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

Relient K

Happy 12th!

2008-03-25T08:59:00.001-07:00

DD turned 12! Twelve years have gone by so fast! I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming. She is the "second mother" to her two little brothers (especially Little Man). Always willing to lend a helping hand in her quiet, sweet way.
Being a musical family, what else would she get? A new keyboard.

Blowing out candles.

Easter pic with everyone.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. We love you!

I Corinthians 15:19-20

2008-03-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

19If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. 20But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 22For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.

This is the foundation of our belief. It is not the cross where Jesus died, though that is an important part. It is the empty tomb. It is his resurrection. Without the empty tomb, there is no hope for us.

My heart is so thankful and full of hope today and I feel so very blessed. Thank you God, for sending your Son to die for me.

Aaron Shust sings...

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior...

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29

What's yours is...still mine

2008-03-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

Minus one tooth

2008-03-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

Someone has lost his first tooth.....

(We won't talk about how his MaMa took it)

Disney Trip

2008-03-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

We recently returned from a week at Disney. It was a blast! We had some leftover days on our tickets from Oct. and used them this trip. It is always fun to sit by the campfire and watch movies (but not quite as fun as sitting in the middle of nowhere, I'm a middle of nowhere person :-)).
Here are a few highlights of the trip...

The 7 seater golf cart...

Relaxing in the great outdoors...

These are lights in the sidewalk at Epcot. Little Man LOVED the lights in the sidewalk...

Posing in front of the big "golf ball"...

Watching movies in Little man's favorite watching spot...

Laundry chimes are ringing...gotta go fold (it's a Pavlov's dog thing):-) More to come...

~Happy Birthday!~

2008-02-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

~Psalm 16:11~ Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

Little man is three!

I can't believe it has been three years already. Time just goes by too fast. We are so proud of our little one. He has grown by leaps and bounds. Everyday he shows us the mercy and greatness of our God. When he hugs us, any worry or trouble just melts away. It is something he puts his heart and soul into! If I say too much, I will end up blubbering for half the day, so I will cut myself off. Suffice to say that he has touched our lives in every imaginable way, and we are so very grateful for his beautiful life. Thank you, God, for our sweet little man.

We celebrated with a day at the zoo and pizza!

Here's our favorite ice cream spot.

Little Man relaxing on the front porch swing with sissies.

We love you! Happy Birthday!

~14~

2008-02-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

How time flies!

We celebrated with Pizza and Wii!

DS is such an awesome young man. The creator of forts for his siblings....the leader they all look up to (and sometimes rebel against.) I'm so proud of the young man he is becoming. Wise, sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the needs of others, loving, kind and yet unafraid to swim against the stream. During the last year, I believe he has taught me more than I have taught him. I must admit I do miss my little football from time to time, but he is such an incredible young man. I can't wait to see what God has in store for his life. I know he has a gift, and God will use it to His glory! We are so thankful and proud to be his parents!

Happy Birthday my sweet "little" boy. I love you!

Two Months in Pictures~

2008-01-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

Very abbreviated version...

DH's long awaited Les Paul Gibson guitar....Merry Christmas Honey! This one is him staring at it in disbelief. He never thought I would buy him ANOTHER guitar...hee heePogo University. (Christmas Day)
A wiped out Little Man.
A visit to the eye doctor. No vision problems! Praise God!
A camping trip.
Hiking with big Brother!
A rest from hiking.
Hiking back.
A day outside. I will always picture my kids in these pear trees. Forever will I see the forts and other things they make out of them.

A day at the Zoo...Thanks Daddy!
Daddy passed out in the spider web!
"I've got it all on camera."
Lots of pictures...not much words....does it count?

Thanksgiving retreat.

2007-11-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

These are pictures taken during our family get-together over Thanksgiving. My Mac has Blogger issues and I finally decided to drag out my old Windows computer and post them from this one. Mr. Apple doesn't want to post pictures and I am weary of trying to fix it. A victim of the Windows conspiracy;-)

Things for which I am thankful...

A quiet morning row on a peaceful lake
This was taken by me one early morning while dh and I were our for a canoe ride.

This is PePa with the children.

And this is ds, 13, in kayak.

A beautiful view shared with family

A wonderful husband whom I love and adore and five awesome children

Frost on the mountain tops the day after Thanksgiving.

And the most awesome hike ever! (My husband and I love this stuff!)It was a mile loop trail to a waterfall. We all said, "A mile? That's nothing!" Classified as "easy." Well, it was pretty scary, especially with a baby on my back! We didn't expect the steep, one man trails with a drop off on one side and slippery ice on the ground! Trying to look after 2 unsteady ones on top of that was a little hard!

Away we go!
And here, the reward for our hard labor! A beautiful 300' waterfall in the most peaceful setting ever! Hey, I would do this again in a heartbeat!

After I rest for a while! Hey, even the Ergo gets a little painful after that kind of hike!

This is at the bottom of the waterfall, part of the trail back. Dh gave babe the ride back (thank goodness).

We were most thankful for time spent with family! We thouroughly enjoyed the time spent with cousins, aunts, uncles and, of course, MeMa and PePa!

Little Man says,"Let's do it again, soon! "

God is good...

2007-11-15T10:44:00.001-08:00

Let us come before His presence with Thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the Lord is the great God, and the great King above all gods. Pslam 95:2-3

This past week has been fun-filled but hectic. We are preparing to go to the mountains with family for Thanksgiving week and are all very excited about leaving!

So I will just give a brief update on the past few days.

We went camping with friends and visited Wild Adventures. Casting Crowns was there, but we opted out of the concert scene (I know, we are all fuddy-duddies). We like them, but none of us was terribly interested in going. (Hey, and I have a teen-ager, too!) When we left we stopped at a picnic area that had a spring, and even though it was about 65 degrees, my adventuresome girls jumped into the spring anyway. My oldest boy said that he felt it took more character to stand against the peer pressure than to cave to it:-)
Now this is family time!

We made bread (totally by hand, no mixers or anything) with the local support group. I forgot spoons and the children all thought we were gonna mix it "like the Indians did." (haha) (Luckily someone did let us borrow some spoons.) My middle son, always being safety conscious, felt he needed his safety goggles, "In case flour should shoot up into my eye." :-)

Then this week, we have been clothes shopping numerous times for cold weather clothes. Everyone got haircuts

The girls both cut about 10" off of their hair. It was a BIG deal for them. But it looks great!
And then we fit in our 14th week of school, therapy, therapy, and more therapy today....and I'm ready for this mountain vacation after this week! God is good! It is through Him that I get it all done and I thank Him and praise Him for the ability. It is not always easy over here, but God is always good!
I was reminded how wonderfully blessed I am this week. Besides the day to day blessings. I have a Saviour. Some door to door witnesses (Jehovah's) came to the door this week, and I was sharing with them about my faith. I felt so empty for them, and such compassion because they do not know My King. My heart still aches for them as I type this. How God must sorrow for those who do not accept His Son. I am thankful that I know Him.
Well, that's it for now. Everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Friday and update

2007-11-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

Psalm 70:4 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified.

I've been shamed into finally blogging...Thanks Jennifer;-) (Just kidding). There really hasn't been a whole lot to talk about around here. The past few weeks sickness has been passed from one to another through the children, and just when we thought it was FINALLY over, I get it. But it isn't bad, just a bad cold for me. The little ones had it much worse.
DD threw a tea party today for her doll. It was so sweet. Everyone attended:-) We had hot tea and chocolate donuts.

Halloween we went bowling with neighborhood friends. It was a blast. When we returned to the neighborhood at around 10, there were STILL cars parked everywhere AND a hot dog stand set up in front of the neighborhood! We live in a small town, people, and our little block of the woods is the destination for the ENTIRE COUNTY, I believe. It is hilarious. We stayed one year, saw the madness, and now we ESCAPE! Just too crazy for us. We've never been real big on the day anyway....

Please pray for our Little Man. He goes for his 6 month check up with the
neurologist on Monday. If all goes according to plan he will be weaned off of his anti-seizure medication. He has been seizure free for almost 2 years now...Praise the Lord! Pray for God's hand on the doctor's decisions regarding this matter, and for me to accept God's will either way (should he decide to keep him on the meds longer).
And pray for Little Man as he goes through this process, that he will remain seizure free. Our God is so good.

I'll be better about blogging, I promise!

Two years old and already...

2007-10-19T08:19:00.002-07:00

a thrill seeker...

Now how are we supposed to get any cleaning done today? Ha!

(Yes it is on.)

I wonder....do you know Him?

2007-10-19T08:19:00.001-07:00

This is a blessing.

Wednesday

2007-10-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

We spent the weekend celebrating dh's birthday at Fort Wilderness campground in Disney. It was an awesome time. We played, went to campfire sing-alongs, rode the infamous golf cart everywhere and thanked God for the greatest Daddy and husband in the world!
Ds and Daddy on train around park.
Posing in front of castle (I don't know why my rotated photos don't show up rotated with my Mac on this blog, it works on my PC! (whining now))
cooling off...
Campfire singalong!

Now we are home, doing laundry, catching up on school, and taking care of the sick.

He came down with a fever this afternoon:-( Poor baby.

In other news...Praise God my brother and sister-in-law and their oldest son arrived safely home from China on Thursday! Their plane was delayed in Beijing for 24 hours, can you imagine? They are home safe and sound, recouping from the time change and awaiting their next trip. God worked in many ways during this trip, I know. They have a long road in front of them. I pray God's direction and timing on each and every decision they make until they arrive in their new home on the other side of the world! Thank everyone for your prayers for their safe arrival home!

There's something about the ocean....

2007-10-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

Job 9:8
He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea.
Psalm 93:4
Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea— the LORD on high is mighty.

There is something majestic about the ocean during a noreaster. I may be alone in this feeling, I know. I just love going to the beach and watching the huge waves (well, huge to us) stirred up like a washing machine and thinking about the God who holds it all in His hands. Of course, I also enjoy sitting on my front porch during a thunderstorm so maybe I'm a little whack:-)
Whichever the case, this weekend we took a little trip to my personal favorite beach (it is always empty:-)) and carried along whoever would come. Neighbors, cousins. It was a blast! But for the longest, I just couldn't move from my spot on the rock, thinking about the Rock that holds it all in His hands, and the wonderful beauty that surrounds us. I could have sat there all day! Waves crashing, children's laughter, is there any better way to spend an afternoon?

The children just enjoyed climbing all over the rocks....can't say I blame them, before the hour was out, I was climbing all over them, too!

PS..I'm praying you home, dear brother...Your children miss you and can't wait to see you...hope to hear something from you soon, we are all a little worried.

Wednesday

2007-09-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

I know. It has been a long time since I have blogged. Don't remind me. We stay busy. Busy is good.

No pictures today. My Mac is acting up and I've got one hundred and one things to do. (Okay, I shouldn't really blame my Mac. It is just trying to survive in a Microsoft world. It's blogger's fault.) But I would like to pass on this article. It touched me today.
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/baby/article/0,19840,1656610,00.html

And please pray for my brother as he and his wife are in China scoping out where they will soon live. Their heart is for an unreached people. I won't say who, I don't want to compromise anything. I know God's protection is with him, but it is scary to have to monitor every correspondence we have so that the government there does not get suspicious and investigate. We are so blessed here in America.

Psalm 139:13-18

2007-09-07T11:01:00.000-07:00

Psalm 139:13-18
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.

This is a movie of Little Man in therapy this week. He is wearing headphones, listening to digitally altered music that is supposed to somehow focus the brain and help it to work more efficiently. It is a type of sensory integrative treatment that is relatively new and has limited studies done at this point. If anyone is interested, here is a link to the site www.vitallinks.net.
If anything, I have noticed it makes him attempt to talk more. In the video, he is singing, which he loves to do. He has a limited vocabulary, mainly Ma-Ma, Da-Da, Ginger (dog), more, eat....and all the children's names, of course. I'm sure there are some I am missing. He signs about 10 words. (Signing Time videos are great!) "Typically", a two and 1/2 year old "should" have a vocabulary of about 30-50 words. All children develop differently, of course. We try really hard to focus on what Little Man does and not what he does not do. The does not will come in time. He will eventually learn everything a "typical child" does, it will just take him longer.

God formed Little Man for a special purpose, which will be revealed in His time. It has taken me a while to accept that. Some friends caution me that in this world, "things happen" and "because of sin", there will be trouble in this life. They also tell me that "God cries too, when he sees these things happen."! I agree to a point, but I have to believe that God is in complete control of this world. There are many things I do not understand. Many heartaches that I am totally uncomfortable with, but "things happen" does not comfort me. That would take control out of God's hands and put it into mine. That would mean there is possibly something that could happen on this earth that would surprise God. How can that be? Corrie Ten Boom once said, "There is no panic in heaven, only plans." The situations that cause us the most distress and anxiety in this world are firmly in God's grasp. To me it is comforting to know that God has ordained every step, every moment, every breath of my life and the lives of those around me.
Man's goings are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way? Prov.20:24

Now how did I get from therapy and cute Little Man to this? I have no idea....

~6!~

2007-08-31T16:30:00.000-07:00

Ds is 6! He is a smiling, ever-joyful, sensitive boy! He is always joking, full of energy and happiness. The first one awake in the morning and out as soon as his head hits the pillow at night. He is ALL boy, no fear, scaring his mommy to death. He is also sweet snuggles in the morning during Bible devotions, cards to Mommy and Daddy at least once a day, sweet kisses on the forehead, "watch me Mommy", cowboy boots with shorts (well, with everything,really, is there any other shoe?), one speed (running), sweet little pee-wee. He's the one who wants to race stock cars when he grows up. (Praying hard there). He loves Jesus and his family, too. He brings laughter and joy to every room he enters and love to my heart!

Loves jumping in the pool!
And...on his Daddy. I love this picture, it cracks me up.

We saw the leaves change this year together.

Fishing in the Keys.

In our infamous garden...a story in itself.

Ready for Special Night with Daddy.

Posing in front of "the cake". It is suposed to be a red Lego;-) They should put warning labels on food coloring that say no amount of red food coloring will turn white icing red.
I love you sweet little pee-wee! Happy Birthday!

School Begins

2007-08-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

He just looks so compliant!

It is finally that time. We started school yesterday and, besides some anticipated adjustments to the schedule, it went off without a hitch! Everyone is very excited about their subjects this year, even the first grader. The two year old is not excited at all, but I expected that. He is very resistant when it comes to "assisted play." I don't know whether all of the therapy he has had has wounded him in that aspect. The minute he thinks you are trying to teach him something, the lights go off and the joy dissipates. I have to be very creative and patient, two things the good Lord knows I am weak in. So that was kind of dissappointing. I was hoping he would work a little better with me. I will continue to pray for guidance there. Other than that it was a banner day here!

Hubby slipped home a little early and we went out for ice cream to celebrate at one of our favorite spots.

Not much can make a stressful day better, but chocolate ice cream sure does help!

Are you going to eat ALL of that?

A beautiful view!

Smile, Mommy!

He just loves superman ice cream!

After that it was home and to bed. A long, tiring (mentally), but very productive and satisfying day. Thank you Jesus! \o/

Finally!

2007-08-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've been working feverishly all week, trying to get everything organized for school to start next week. I think the room is finally ready. I put all of the learning centers stuff in boxes on the bookshelves, along with art supplies, etc. I also gave each of the other children their own shelf to keep their schoolbooks on. I'm very excited about starting school next week, as are the children, but I have to admit I'm a little nervous, too. I know, after 9 years of this it is silly to be nervous, but I do get nervous.
Anyhow...pictures of the cleaned schoolroom....now if I can only keep it that way....

I had to post pictures of the finished product to show everyone that I did not procrastinate for very long...

Look who's 9!

2007-08-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday sweet girl! We love you so very much! I am often overwhelmed by your sweet heart, one that always gives and never expects in return. You are always thinking of others over yourself and always willing to give up your own needs to make someone else happy. Your constant smile and sweet nature are such a blessing to our family.

It was fun having a houseful of children this week!

You are always quick to give hugs to those in need!

We are so proud of you! Happy Birthday!

Preparations

2007-08-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

We are getting ready for a party Saturday for our sweet little girl. Some of their cousins are here for the weekend to help celebrate. We are trying to let them get together a little more because they will be moving to China soon to be missionaries! We are very excited but will miss them terribly!

They are playing the new Wii..I'm telling you that thing is addictive. I'm not a video game person at all, but I really like boxing. Bowling is fun, too, but boxing is hilarious. The computer people that you box crack me up! Especially Leonard, (I think that's his name) he smiles the WHOLE time you are hitting him! I can't even hit him for laughing so hard.

~Love~

2007-08-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

My husband and I celebrate 20 years together this year. We have been married for 16 but dated and were engaged for 4 years before that, so technically we have been together 20 years. He is the love of my life. Most people who know us know he loves to tease/embarrass me. Not in a bad way. For example, this past Saturday I was helping him run some errands and the children were at NaNa's house. I had Little Man. We were in two separate cars and he needed gas so we stop for gas. I pull into a parking space to wait and he calls my cell phone and tells me to pull up to the pump and he will fill up my car as well. I do so. As I pull up, he greets the car and says, loudly, "I saw you sitting over there and I'm so glad you pulled up behind me. I figure any woman as pretty as you, I'd be honored to buy your gas." I grin, used to this type of thing, and tell him through clenched teeth to stop because people were staring. He proceeds to fill up the tank, them comes to the window and asks, again loudly, if he could buy me lunch. I tell him, quietly, that I will follow him home. He says, again loudly, "You're gonna follow me home? Well alright!" Some days.....DH thinks these things are funny, I find that arguable. That said, I still wouldn't change a thing about him. We complement each other perfectly.

Love ya baby!

Tuesday

2007-08-14T11:27:00.001-07:00

I wish I could say I have made a dent in the schoolroom. Procrastination..... the word of the week. It is not a good thing.

Well....maybe it is. Otherwise I would be working instead of snapping cute pictures.

Work will still be there tomorrow.....

August

2007-08-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is August already! So much to do! We celebrate milestones this month. Wedding anniversary for us and a birthday for dd! I also would be 7 months pregnant, but God had other plans. So this month is three months since I lost our sixth child. It has been a journey that I would not have chosen, but one that has brought me to my knees once again in the presence of an awesome Creator. I can rememer so clearly sitting in the hospital ER, hearing the news that indeed our dear baby had died, and the first thing that comes to my mind is a song. One that God had placed in my heart. I did not cry (though I wanted to), I simply said, "You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say more blessed be Your name." Those words carried me through. They still do to this day. When I see a newborn I always want to ask God, "Why?" In my mind I hear God say to me, gently, lovingly, "...What is that to you? You follow me." The same words Jesus said to Peter in John 21. You follow me. Yes, Lord, I will follow You. I choose to follow You. It is a choice I make daily. When our youngest son was born with Down Syndrome...even after 20 level 3 prenatal sonograms and a "healthy, perfect baby" decree by the best maternal-fetal docs our town can offer, I had to choose then as well. (Let me just add now that I would NEVER had aborted Little Man had I known his condition.) I chose Jesus then. I can't imagine life without Him. I also can't imagine life without Little Man. But, alas, I digress. Let me get back to matters at hand.

Here is what keeps me from blogging more often....

This is my schoolroom. Sad, huh? Add to this lesson plans, setting up a preshool program for Little Man, and sorting through 4 (well, 5) grades of curriculum and I am a bit overwhelmed, to say the least. So this coming week, the children and I are going to clean out, organize and remodel the schoolroom. :-) Did I say I was ambitious? That is, of course, assuming no one else in the family comes down with pnuemonia like our poor 5yo ds did this past week:-( So this is our project. Can you tell I'm excited?:-0 I'll let you know how it goes....

Here is what happens around here while big brother is away mowing Grandma's lawn....

Yes, he is playing Barbies with his sisters...although I have to add that his version includes a little boy destroying the house his sisters so meticulously organize. Not too far from reality. If you don't believe me, take another look at my schoolroom!

Wedding

2007-07-23T12:07:00.001-07:00

This weekend we celebrated dh's brother's wedding. It was an oceanfront wedding and had rained (stormed) most of the day. Praise God that the rain held up in time for the bride and groom to say their vows oceanside! It was beautiful! Congrats bride and groom!

Our 5 hour road trip and everyone is still happy!

Me and Little man ready for the wedding!

Daddy and his little girl dancing!

Ds and dd leaving the beach (she was flower girl)

I wish I could figure out how to rotate this picture! I AM computer illiterate! Anyhow ds has sand in his BEACH shoes and is very distressed.

Dh and ds sharing a hug!

Our beautiful flower girl!

Dd having fun with camera. She took care of the guest book and greeted all the guests.

We left this weekend having had an awesome time with our children (and family). We often get stares and comments about our "large family" and this weekend was no different. Dh and I always laugh and look at each other. We are always thinking the same thing "God is so good." We wouldn't change anything about our family.

Fruitful Spirit

2007-07-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

Galatians 5:22-23
“But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

It is often easy for me to overlook this passage. After all, I am guilty at one point or another in my life of having absolutely none of these attributes. God is faithful as he gently leads me down the paths of this life. At times He is leading a confident, trusting follower, other times He is leading a kicking and screaming faithless believer. Always, though, He is leading. So many times I do not, will not, see Him. I want to take the reigns and lead my own life and let God in only when I need Him. How ridiculous! Nonetheless He leads me. The faithful Shepherd and His foolish sheep. I thought of this today as Little Man and I were at therapy. He has just recently started walking, and his confident stride is only stricken when he must take steps (as in stair steps). Sometimes he will stop, assess the situation, and circle the steps to see if there is an easier way out. Other times he will simply walk right into the step, never acknowledging its presence. Still others he will look to me, stretch out his hand and say simply, "Mama." I know what he wants. I know what his needs are. I will gently take his hand and lead him safely where it is he needs to be. God is just like that. You see we also want to figure out a way to take the bumps in this life safely. There are times when we circle around, never getting where we need to be because we refuse to take His hand. There are other times when we foolishly plunge into a situation we know we shouldn't be in simply because we refuse to be aware that we need Him. Then there are the times we stretch out our hands and say "Abba, Father" and He gently takes our hands and leads us where we need to be. He is Our Provider. All we need to do is ask, and He will lead us precisely where we need to go. My prayer is that I will reach for His hand more.